i regret half my life choices

textsfromtitanfood:

consider the following aus

  • "we wore matching halloween costumes to this party" au
  • "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
  • "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help…
#fav #aus

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

fun prank idea: go to starbucks and tell the cashier your name is “Dad.” then when the barista starts calling “Dad??” “DAD?” “DAD” you can hide behind the crowd of people and watch as he begins to cry. why did his father leave him


troyler-poakley:

seeing the booty like

troyler-poakley:

seeing the booty like


troylerfivever:

graceffajoeyyy:

trxylerphan:

aang-banged:

what-the-hecky-heck:

captainphaggit:

Watch the gif for 30 seconds, then look at the picture! 

This was my favorite one yet

Whiaaa

bruhhh

That shit fucked me up

bruh……


greathaircut:

i heard if  you do crimes on the internet the girls love you so im drawing a gun in microsoft paint and im going to rob the Bank of America web site with it


sammytalklatintome:

bpm999:

majorvirgin:

LOOK AT WHAT THEY FUCKING DID TO BOB THE BUILDER

image

I AM FUMNG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

SMUG ASS STEPDAD LOOKING ASS LITTLE SHIT 

image

image


"Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor."
— the greatest thing i have ever read (via seabelle)

troylerhummus:

Okay zalfie.



tylerlovetroye:

spookyspookfangirlperson:

tylerlovetroye:

troylersboo:

Troye Sivan is a work of art

LET’S START THE BIDDING 

10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollars i win

dafuq i can’t even enough my own insurance 

tylerlovetroye:

spookyspookfangirlperson:

tylerlovetroye:

troylersboo:

Troye Sivan is a work of art

LET’S START THE BIDDING 

10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollars i win

dafuq i can’t even enough my own insurance 

#yt

Reblog if you’re a nobody on Tumblr but you’re still very proud of your blog.

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spookoofins:

are the pumpkin spice lattes really worth all that gloom?

i have had too much coffee

….SHIT you’re adorable and cute


Conversation with my very religious mother
  • Me: did you know that it is a sin to wear that shirt and you could go to hell?
  • Mom:
  • Me: I mean it has mixed fabrics.
  • Me: According to the bible, that's a sin.
  • Mom: show me where it says that
  • Me: levictus 19:19
  • "'Keep my decrees.
  • “‘Do not mate different kinds of animals.
  • “‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
  • “‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.
  • Mom:
  • Mom:
  • Mom: well just because it says that doesn't mean you can say its a sin and we'll go to hell
  • Me: so why are people doing that with homosexuality

bootslots:

do you ever play cards against humanity and there’s that moment where the perfect card for the hand is in your hand and you just go “my time has come” and lay it down with such grace

and then you don’t get the point


itsbearotitz:

YOU JUST HEARD OF IT

itsbearotitz:

YOU JUST HEARD OF IT